We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

CATHOLIC PLAYAH

from home skillet by Eli Moore

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1.50 NZD  or more

     

about

Sup

lyrics

Chorus:

They call me the Catholic Playah
[All up] in discernment prayers
But it ain’t so shady looking for a lady
Hitting up the parish fundraiser
Yeah, I’m a Catholic roamin’, rollin’ Solo
[Looking for a Leia]
So ladies, don’t be hatin’: love your neighbour
And I’ll see you later


So here we go, I’ll start my flow
With a welcome to the show
I’m a Catholic rapper like you never heard before
But a hand for my man, Fr Stan, and the also-rans;
If I’m narcissistic, it’s intrinsic to the form, fool!
Anyway, my friend Don’s fiancee
She had the gall to call me a PLAYAH but I say:
“That’s slander, panda”
Worry about YOUR man
Who check his ex up on my Facebook every chance that he can.
‘Cos I’m friends with many ladies
From many walks of life, and I really do try
To be a witness to Christ
With no glint in my eye
Though I’m trying to find a wife -
To the seculars I’m safe and the Catholics I’m sly.
I’m the real Peter Parker and my spider-bite was this:
I gave a year to the Lord and he opened my gifts
So why’m I missing every catch?
I’ll join up Catholic Match
Gonna take this swag to a new cabbage patch

(Chorus)


So hi, I’m Eli
Twenty-nine, never married
Height: 5’ 7”; body type: athletic
[Yeah, right!]
It’s alright to lie white and get your profile tight
To catch a cutie’s eye on a Catholic dating site
So let’s talk about me
I like walks on the beach, saying romantic rosaries
I only drink socially, would pick Marvel over DC
And movies over TV
If I had to pick a favorite saint - there’s many
But it’s probably gotta be JP,
The Greatest
Have you read Mulieris Dignitatum, or Evangelium Vitae?
I’ve got my head around some Latin
You don’t see that everyday
Unless you only like the Tridentine Rite
But I don’t need that kind of weird at this time in my life
So girl, just step aside
I’ll see the next one in line
Who’ll be down with T.O.B. - that’s the Catholic T.L.C.
Maybe I can teach you if you ask nicely…
[Seventeen views, I ain’t worried ‘bout a thing;
I’m sending out winks like a brrringchingching!]

(Chorus)

Yo, this is PHI, here to spit
‘Bout the serious side of shit
And the single man’s struggle with the
World, flesh and devil.
I’m an everyday saint and a Saturday sinner
Trying to sort myself out and still look like a winner
‘Cos I don’t want to miss this vague 'future spouse'
That my olds pray about, they say:
"If you’re following the Lord she’ll turn up anyway"
But I’m getting pretty bored
Of the same concentric Catholic circles
And the same eccentric ninja turtles
It’s like a moving set of hurdles meeting new girls
Who’ll hang around your world
Long enough to get to know ‘em
Well enough to want to get to know ‘em more
‘Cos you ask ‘em cold they’re heading for the door
What you running for?
Yo, girls with the grief: “Where’s the masculinity??”
Well, shucks, how ‘bout a “yes” for the next Catholic dweeb
‘Cos there’s fellas less than me in the social graces count
And I’m striking out
So what’s that all about?
If you ain’t dating ‘cos you’re waiting
For a Blessed Pier Giorgio type to skate in first
Well, you’re making matters worse
Putting hopes in a hearse
Ima keep "playing" ‘cos nothing else works

(Chorus)

credits

from home skillet, released July 3, 2020

license

tags

about

Eli Moore New Zealand

Producer, writer, keyboardist. Down in New Zealand

contact / help

Contact Eli Moore

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

Eli Moore recommends:

If you like Eli Moore, you may also like: